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Desi Households and Desi Girls Suffering

Not only across seven seas but even when expatriates come back to Pakistan desi girls suffer in their desi households. This misery takes on various shapes and forms and severity level and is a major cause of depression and anxiety among desi girls.

Women suffer so much in Desi households. I am literally in tears. You’ll be this dope independent lady before marriage and this one man will make your life miserable. There’s one example in my family and there will be hundreds in other hundred families. Hate how everyone ignores. And the fact that a girl leaves her family HER ENTIRE FAMILY and no one gives a fuck and says “har larki ati hai nai baat toh ni hai” no please stfu. There’re also many examples of men who help their wives in working towards their goals in life. It’s about us between the husband and wife not about any one partner. By tarring every man with the same brush you also discredit those men who feel proud when their women excel.

Women have to be trained to fight back. I remember reading an interview in which the professional woman said she chose a husband who suited her requirements, he had to be professional and give her the freedom for her own. It was an eye opener for me. If the girl has freedom to choose so should the guy ! Girl should clearly tell about her expectations of independent life, so guy can also decide if he wants to marry her or not and vice versa. Majority does follow cultural norms in our country. And yes! There might be alot unmarried happy people. For me its the other way around. The good thing is society is being moving towards accepting Woman’s positive role very quickly. Rest is education education and education is the only key to lift every segment of society.

The problem is many guys lie and think shaadi k baad kaha hi jaane waali hai. Happened to my sister and so many of my friends. Many girls make it clear of their expectations but most often guys will lie to them. True, this is such a nuanced subject. We lie to children with words like love, duty and other soothing ideas. Whereas actually it’s a contract, a transaction and each party should be aware of their benefit. Then, you’ll have less fancy weddings and more careful agreement. Problems are there in society but there are hundreds in my family who are enjoying good life. One case does not means and it is everywhere. Kindly address the issue by being impartial. Man or lady who so ever is wrong should be highlighted so that he or she may review.

So that’s why I am never gonna get married, why should I sacrifice my dreams and ambitions for living a miserable life with a cringey desi man, while I can live my life in peace. I know married people who dint want to marry or have kids. Wanting no marriage or kids can be said as a joke only or when you too young. Life is boring, lonely and sad without making family and thats a fact, atleast for our culture. But not everyone may think the way you do. Also not everyone follows cultural norms. I know those who actually are unmarried and without kids and perfectly content with their lives as well.

Absoutely agree. Only if the In-laws treat their daughter-in-laws the same way they want their daughter’s in-laws to treat them. Same goes for the guy. The family and husband wants maids & robots with no free will. Though it is traditional (no doubt dark side of Asian Society) mindset. But the reality is with enlightenment of society in every way of life. The today’s women are changing this perspective about them and a husband should support it. It’s a patriachal society. Parents should teach their sons to respect women and also teach their daughters to be strong women. Nobody should dare to take their wives and daughter-in-laws a weaker being. And the whole society should evolve to support it.

More than education, societal consciousness is required. Most of this injustice with women is happening in so called educated families. One’s inner and the Societal consciousness comes only with education. When we say education it also includes Training. Which starts from the mother, who is a woman. Give education, training, freedom and confidence to your women, they will give you Leaders. Let me remind you all. The story i am talking about is of a women who lives only with his husband. No mother-in-law or anyone else.
I am talking about how her HUSBAND tortures her mentally. Just shutup if you’re defending men here because i am in no mood to listen. The worst part is that our generation has girls who understand their worth and would rather choose nobody over a pain in the neck man. Whereas, the boys of our generation have still been raised in the most typical desi way.

The biggest trap of all times is “I love u” trust me never ever fall for that nobody loves you people love the things you do for them the moment you stop doing those things than see the true colors. There is some light at the end of the tunnel. My husband never had expected me to live with in-laws. Him and me both moved out and into our own place a week before our marriage so our friends can come hang out/chill with us. Alhumdolillah has never put anyone before us. I agree with you but not every women suffering from this there are good and bad people everywhere. Everyone talks about women mental health but no one talks about man mental health that’s the double standards of our society.

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