Patriarchy in Pakistan

Women are socialized to believe that our individual worth is based exclusively on how valuable we are to men. We also learn that cruelty toward other women elevates our individual standing in the eyes of men.

The former is a lie. The latter is a trick. Your value is inherent.

Exactly. Not only socialised but conditioned to believe this from childhood. Due to sexist divisions and upbringing instilled into female child from a young age. Toxic masculinity is enforced on us. Men belittle women and somehow they’ll always be better is tried to normalised. I’m appalled when I think about how much of my life I wasted on trying to be fuckable. Being old & fat has given me freedom from the idea that I must always be “on” in case there’s a man around to take interest in me. It saddens me that girls/women still try to conform to this.

The thing is it’s also something men have to deal with as well. Many women and men judge men base on appearances, how many people they’ve slept with, and so forth. I really do believe it’s something to do with people of the same gender most times who judge. Patriarchy is a lot like capitalism. Gotta union bust so the workers don’t gain any power. Convince them that if they work hard enough to win employer’s favor, they’ll get that promotion and a seat at the table of power.

I consider patriarchy the remnants of thinking in earlier days of civilization. It is closer to autocracies, monarchies, and fascism type governments than capitalism. Not saying capitalism does not have its flaws, it at least not designed with women are inferior to men. If capitalism doesn’t perceive women as inferior to men by design, please explain the pay gap. It is not perfect, but profit motive via competitive advantage wins in capitalism. Now that we have research and evidence that companies with diverse teams outperforms peers, for example Goldman Sachs case study, it will not be long before pay gaps are thing of past.

The beautiful thing about capitalism, companies that can’t compete, or demonstrate competitive advantage, which is creating value for customers, then they go out of business. Public or private. Women are essential for innovation, or simply business survival. Is it just in the eyes of men, or is it in the entire patriarchal power structure? My life currently has men at the very periphery, TBH. I’m seeing women be cruel to each other for status offered them by other women. Is this just my weird world? Habit?

I too am mystified by this kind of thing; but like racism, not seeing it doesn’t mean it’s not so. Plus some countries/cultures are distinctly worse for it. Read through replies to find church anecdotes helped me understand a little.